Betty: Your character is a former child star who tries to make a comeback and she gets all these horrible jobs so she can get back in the limelight. That ever happened to you?
Judy: I'll get this call and they'll want a Judy Tenuta-type. So I'll go in and then they say, "You're too much like Judy Tenuta." I'm like, "I am Judy Tenuta, okay pig?" Actresses must be doing a lot of bonking to get parts. But what guarantee do you get? What if I went down on some big fat geyser and then he decides to put Blowhead McFuck in the movie instead of me. I don't have time for that.

Betty: But do you still get calls for bad gigs?
Judy: My agent calls me the other day and goes, "They want you to do a bladder control pill commercial for women." Not only is it not funny but they wanted me to stand next to a doctor. Yeah right, so I'd be standing there saying, "Sure, listen to this toad. Like I'm gonna snap on a Pamper so he can get five bucks!" They're not gonna let me say that - but that's how I talk! I said, "To end my career, you tell those fuckers that I want 10 million." Excuse me! "I know when you come to see me perform you feel like letting a lake loose, but you can take this pill…" Then Howard Stern would call me the PeePee Princess or The Goddess of Golden Showers.

Betty: Where did you get your sense of humor from?
Judy: My dad. He could make me laugh and do anything with his face. He'd do Dracula and all these voices. He was a sweet man who supported eight children. My mom was this real strict disciplinarian nazi woman - so that worked out real well ...not! But she's great. Everything with my mom was like J-U-D-Y! Hey, she's like that mom in The Sopranos! But if you had eight kids you'd have to be strict too. I'd farm 'em out to whorehouses! All my kids would be in little brothels in Taiwan. [singing] "One night in Bangkok makes my hard kids humble!"

Betty: With so many child stars meeting tragic endings, if you could go out big, how would you do it?
Judy: I wouldn't want to go out like Dana Plato. I certainly wouldn't want to have an interview with Howard Stern and then off myself. He could make anybody jump off the deep end. I think I'd like to ride Gary Coleman on a saddle and fall off a cliff or something. It's a cross between the child star thing and Thelma and Louise.


Betty: The low budget horror movie spoof in this flick is beyond hilarious. What was it called? "The Girl Scout: She Earned Her Badge in Terror"? Brilliant. Have you ever done a slasher flick? Or a cheapy porn?
Judy: No. Not porn. But I've definitely been in some bad movies.

Betty: When you try to get publicity by saying that you're a lesbian - that almost made me pee my pants.
Judy: I loved that scene! I was so happy when we got to do that. I love doing movies because you're so consumed with the work. I also love performing live but you gotta do a little of both.

Betty: Anything coming up for you that we should know about?
Judy: We're working on a script for a new film where I'm from the South. And also there's the possibility of a sitcom, so the networks can put something on other than "Married With Power Tools". Right now, they're only into blue collared guys. But I can be blue collared guy in a dress!

Betty: You could do your lesbian character!
Judy: I'd love to do that… "Hey, how about a brewski for one of you chicks, huh?" That would be great.

Betty: I can't believe the damn networks haven't sweeped you up for your own show. Will you please start sleeping around!
Judy: I know! You are so right. I need to be a mattress, damn it. I'll start at Sony Pictures then move on down the line. But what if I sleep with them and they don't come through? I'll go postal.

Betty: Well if you don't get your own show or some huge movie deal, Betty's going postal too. Thanks again Judy for having me at your home and taking the time to gab.
Judy: You're welcome. And I now dub thee BeatBoxBetty, The Duchess of Movie Dish... It could happen!