BeatBoxBetty's Movie Reviews

The X-Files, You've Got Mail

X-FILES, THE
Warning! If you’re expecting a really good episode of The X-Files (just 40 feet longer than normal) you may disappointed. Although agents Mulder and Scully have their moments on the big screen, other than a near miss of a kiss and a kid’s eyeball filling up the black goo, The X-Files does not mark the spot. We never find out what the impossible scenario really is, we never get a close up clear view of the alien threat and we never see David’s butt cheeks. If you really believe the truth is out there, I recommend you rent the 1993 frightening flick "Fire in the Sky" starring D.B. Sweeny. This movie will scare the beegeebies out of you space cases. These aliens don’t live in the earth’s core and they don’t care if you’ve seen the entire season on FOX. Rating: 2.5 Martinis

YOU’VE GOT MAIL
Yes, Meg Ryan’s cute as a button. And yes, Tom Hanks may be the perfect blend of sweet-yet-strong-testosterone. But by the time these two e-mail themselves into a tizzy – you really don’t care. It’s just that same old banter, "Who him? Sure he gets on my nerves and he’s trying to destroy my business– but geez I can’t help falling head over heels for him!" Puke. And talk about your product placement! By the time this flick was over, all I wanted to do was log onto AOL while sipping a Starbucks double decaf cap! Overall Rating: 1.5 Martinis.

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