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SAVING GRACE
How refreshing it is to see Brenda Blethyn (Little Voice) once again in a film. And her co-star Craig Ferguson (The Big Tease) is equally delightful to watch. In this charming and funny tale, Brenda plays a widow with a green thumb who needs to come up with a huge amount of money in order to save her house. After exhausting all other avenues, she turns to her gardener (Ferguson) in a business proposition that's just too good to pass up. The two then proceed to grow some of the best bud ever cultivated and try to find a dealer to sell the red-haired herbal wonder. Although some may question the moral issue of an elderly woman selling pot - the story works well and the two actors tear up the screen with fine performances. The ending may be so-so, but it doesn't take much away from this enjoyable tale. See this movie! Rating: 4.0 Martinis
SAVING PRIVATE RYAN
First off, the people behind the sound effects on S.P.R. should win an Oscar. That said, there’s obviously a lot in this brutally honest representation of war. An overwhelming onslaught of bullets whirl by - some pierce metal, most find their way into human flesh. And Steven Spielberg masterfully uses those terrifying sounds to enhance his blood-saturated images. The only thing missing is a flawless story. The kind of writing Tom Hanks deserves. Although the Oscar looks good for Best Direction and Sound, me thinks Best Picture might go elsewhere. Rating: 3.5 Martinis
SCARY MOVIE
From the minds that brought you "I'm Gonna Git You Sucka," "In Living Color" and "Don't Be A Menace In South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood" comes a thriller-comedy that's short on both thrill and comedy. In this sad spoof of recent hit horror films, the Wayans brothers rely on horribly homophobic jokes, the "Waz-Up" craze that was so last month and gaggles of genitalia references. Hardee-har-har. It might've worked at the local college level, but this dead man walking needs a transfusion to keep alive nationwide at the box office. Rating: 2.0 Martinis
SCREAM 3
Well, is the third time a charm for this darkly roasted comedy slasher franchise? You better believe it. All the suspects, um, regulars are back - Dewey (David Arquette), Gale Weathers (Courteney Cox Arquette), the forever stalked focus of all these grizzly murders, Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) and of course, that lovely gentleman with the long white-n-wobbly face...you know, the guy with all the nifty cutlery? He's got more screen time than Barbra Streisand had in Yentl. A new addition is indie film darling Parker Posey who plays Jennifer Jolie, a method actress hired to play the get-the-story-at-all-costs Gale Weathers in the film within a film's production of Stab 3. And although the true identity of the psychotic killer is a bit of a let-down, the terror-filled build-up and comedic moments of the film make it a worthy scream fest. Rating: 4.0 Martinis
SHAFT
Some folks may find all of the jive talk and Blaxploitan a bit hard to swallow, but Betty really dug this modern homage to the 1971 hit film "Shaft" starring Richard Roundtree. Sure there's corny one-liners and lots of violence, but Samuel L. Jackson manages to pull off the smooth moving New York detective with as much style (if not more) as Roundtree himself. Another cool aspect of this film is that they wrote Roundtree in and not as some small bit cameo. He plays Shaft's uncle, a key figure in his hazardous career choice. Then there's

Jeffrey Wright who plays a somewhat lovable Dominican drug lord with amazing intensity. Vanessa Williams also co-stars - although no fireworks went off when I saw her on-screen. Overall, this bad brother was entertaining and enjoyable with plenty of action. In fact, I was so into it, I damn well chewed off a few nails! Ain't that the fact, Jack! Rating: 4.0 Martinis
SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE
This witty ditty of a film has everything. There’s the super sensuous Joseph Fiennes (with lips of epic proportion) - Gwyneth Paltrow (she’s definitely gotten over Brad) and goofy Geoffrey Rush who really shines after being under-used in that historic flick, Elizabeth. And the chemistry! I swear you need a smoke each time Gwyn and Joe are in the same room. Who knew a cross-dressing young lass could slay young William so! Shakespeare wishes he had it that good! Rating: 4.5 Martinis
SHANGHAI NOON
You know, I have to admit, I thought this western/comedy/action flick was gonna be a real dog. I even told my guest seeing the movie with me that I'd understand if they wanted to stay home and wash their hair. Boy was I wrong. Not only was I pleasantly surprised by the film's co-stars (Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson) and their comedic timing, but I laughed harder than I have in a long time. Part of that is due to Jackie's uncanny ability to make you feel comfortable watching him on screen. There's no attitude. No delusions of grandeur. Just 100% Jackie at his finest. And Owen also pulls out a nice performance as the kindhearted bad guy who joins up with a Chinese Emperial guard (Jackie) to find the kidnapped Princess Pei PEI (Lucy Liu). With all those "other" low-fat, high-fiber blockbusters hitting theaters this summer, don't let scrumptious "Shanghai Noon" pass you by. Rating: 4.0 Martinis
SHE’S ALL THAT
She’s all that AND a bag of olives, dahlings. Zack (Freddie Prinze,Jr.) flashes his dark simpatico eyes to seduce newcomer Rachael Leigh Cook on what starts out as a high school bet, quickly turning into "Oops, I really dig you". She’s a charming adolescent romp through the predictable teenage pangs. The standard story really. BMOC hustles she, the art-nerd, art-nerd blossoms (with the help of a makeover) into a swan, #2-dude-on-campus betrays BMOC by telling the swan she was just a bet, swan dumps BMOC for #2-dude, then swan foils #2-dude's date rape attempt with her trusty air horn. BMOC gets swan back for real this time, they finally lock lips, music cues up, and Betty's holding hands with a total stranger in the dark! Delightful performances by Matthew Lillard as a narcissistic star of MTV's 'Real World', Paul Walker, the best friend-Benidict Arnold, and young Kieran Culkin is makin' some thespian moves, baby! There's a few slick reality exchanges that help make this a romantic adventure all 'dis and some a’ that. Rating: 3.0 Martinis
SIEGFRIED & ROY: THE MAGIC BOX
Okay. So they are in their mid-50s and their faces are firm. And they wear fluffy shirts and play with white lions. You still have to give Siegfried & Roy credit. They’ve performed together for 38 years to sold-out crowds all the while convincing us to believe in magic. In their magic. Shot in 3D, IMAX lets you reach out and touch the action. Problem is, there’s not a lot of action to touch. Rating: 3 Martinis
SIMPATICO
I’ve often said nothing goes down better than a cold bottle of blackmail on a warm Kentucky Triple Crown winner named Simpatico - and no one plays a better blackmailing derelict named Vinnie than Nick Nolte - and who better than Jeff Bridges as a thoroughbred breeder who forks over hundreds of thousands in hush money to Nolte - not to mention Sharon Stone who plays Bridges’ alcoholic wife with a past of rough sex and compromising photos with a horseracing commissioner, played by the brilliant Albert Finny. A stand up performance for Catherine Keener as a courageous, yet clueless supermarket cashier caught up in Vinnie’s scheme. Simpatico has all the ingredients of an old-time film-noir sans Robert Mitchum or Barbara Stanwyck, and I give director/co-writer Matthew Warchus a lot of credit handling this entangled plot, but maybe a Sam Shepard play might have been a little too much horse for his debut. Rating: 3 Martinis with a "Pick 6".
SIX DAYS, SEVEN NIGHTS
For all those clever reporters who still ask Anne Heche if the public will still believe her straight stint opposite macho Harrison Ford...let me quote Anne herself - "Oh come on, that’s so old already! Did you believe I was a meteorologist?" She’s got a point. And with Six Day, Seven Nights she’s also got a light romantic comedy on her hands. Did I say "light"? We’re talkin’ Olestra light! Just like those classic romantic yuk-yuks of the 40’s, these two get in each other’s way, in each other’s hair and in each other’s hearts. A sappy predictable plot and a sniveling David Schwimmer are almost unbearable until hotty Heche saunters on screen. Think Audrey Hepburn with a really nice tan. What about Harrison Ford? He’s still got hunky good looks under them denim shirts but when it comes to steam on the screen, me thinks he left it with the golden arc in "Raiders…" Ladies, when the man kisses, it’s like watching your mole-endowed aunt Lupe kiss the Pope’s ring. Lots of reverence but little sizzle. Rating 2.5 Martinis - mostly due to Anne’s olives
THE 6TH DAY
Woops. Ah-nold's done it again. He's made another bad movie. Okay, there are enough Special Effects to choke a horse, but The 6th Day is about as entertaining as watching one of those Video Aquariums. There's some pretty fish floating around on the screen, but if you watch closely, you can see it's all on a loop. In other words, we've seen it all before.

And I think we've seen Arnold do it all before in all his other movies. There's a little bit of Total Recall, Jingle All the Way, The Terminator...you name it, it's in here. And although the guy looks great in his Hummer, he's looking a bit out of date running around with all the new technology this film flaunts at you.

Rating: 1.5 Martinis
SIXTH SENSE, THE
I admit I was nervous when I heard that Bruce Willis was gonna be in this supernatural thriller about a boy who sees dead people. I mean, when was the last time you were glad you saw him? Luckily the main character is a fine young actor (Haley Joel Osment) who pulls out a fine performance from Willis. It’s both spooky and riveting stuff. Rating: 4.0 Martinis.
SIX STRING SAMURAI
Ain’t it Cool News scribe, Harry Knowles, may have rated Six String his favorite film of the year – but now Betty’s very concerned about Harry’s state of mind. Sure the cinematography’s cool enough to make it on MTV, but sheesh what a long drawn out music video those 81 minutes make! Backed by the music of The Red Elvises, our guitar-pickin’ hero crosses Death Valley in the hopes of becoming the new King of Lost Vegas in a post-apocalyptic wasteland over-stuffed with grunting bad guys and an annoying little orphaned boy. Rating: 1 Martini
SKULLS, THE
A screenwriter once told me that the secret to a great movie lies within this simple premise; "Don't tell me. Show Me." Translation? Don't explain your entire plot, but show it through the actions and emotions of your characters. If you have to explain it all in dialogue, your movie sucks. In case you haven't figured it out, The Skulls, well...sucks as well. Dawson's Creeker Joshua Jackson plays an Ivy League star rower (on one of those long skinny boats) who falls for the fast cars and faster women promised him if he pledges his loyalty to a shady group of Big Men On Campus who control the country from the Bat cave-like confines of their Secret Society. Whatever. Although you're rooting this pretentious pile will deliver the goods, what you're left with is an "F" for forking out $25 to go see a really bad movie. Rating: 1.5 Martinis
SLEEPY HOLLOW
The winner for Best Hollowed Cheeks in Hollywood (Johnny Depp) plays the 18th Century private eye Ichabod Crane with a slight comic twist in Tim Burton's latest fantasy/horror flick. Although the Headless Horseman is pretty spooky and heavy on decapitation (thus the name), the script is so-so; having Christina Ricci spout out the sappiest lines around. And once again, the plot is painstakingly explained in the dialogue instead of being shown to us. (The #1 Rule in Screenwriting 101? Show it, don't tell it.) Sure, all the beauty of a Burton film is here - the gorgeous sets, gothic costumes and Depp's fabulous hair - but don't lose your head over it, this night rider sure ain't no "Edward Scissorhands." Rating: 3.0 Martinis
SMALL TIME CROOKS
Me thinks DreamWorks is on a roll here, kids. First a Gladiator takes a chomp out of the box office, then Road Trip goes for the kegger and now I even like a Woody Allen film. Wonders never cease! But this isn't just any juttering gibberish from the Wood-ster. Nope. This is the clever and funny tale of the best damn ex-con dishwasher (Allen) and his wise-cracking wife (played by the ever illuminating Tracey Ullman) who dream of becoming rich by way of a bank robbery in New York City. Easier said than done. As we find out, there's more than one way to strike it rich, in perhaps Allen's most "human" portrayal and direction. In fact, he's so good, you forget he's shackin' up with his kid! Rating: 4.0 Martinis
SNOW DAY
Okay. As long as you don't go to see this movie expecting a masterpiece - you're okay. The plot revolves around the fact that anything can happen on a Snow Day. See where we're going here? And for Hal (Mark Webber, from Sabrina The Teenage Witch) and his little sister, it does. He gets to declare his love for the girl of his dreams, and she gets a chance to nail the Snow Plow Man (Chris Elliot) with a few snowballs. Although the premise is Kool-Aid weak and the script lacks any real depth - there are a few moments of levity. And Webber is truly adorable to watch on screen. I'd say in about 2 years he'll be a certifiable star, but this movie surely won't catapult him there. Rating: 2.0 Martinis
SNOW FALLING ON CEDARS
This may be a purdy movie, but sheesh it's so long and so sad and so ultimately boring. Ethan Hawke plays Ishmael - a one-armed reporter in the freezing Pacific Northwest who's still in love with a Japanese woman (Youki Kudoh) who is now married to another man on murder charges. Although the film deals with the horrible relocation the Japanese suffered during the war and the scenery is beautiful, the film loses it's way and it's edge as the plot turns into ice cubes. Bring a tissue or a net...something's fishy. Rating: 2.5 Martinis
SOUTH PARK: BIGGER, LONGER & UNCUT
Matt Stone & Trey Parker take no prisoners in this foul and funny flick that had Betty hooting in the aisles. No one is safe (that means you too God) as the small redneck mountain town of South Park experiences its own censorship witch hunt. Though your kids will beg you take them, don’t. You’ll have to explain why Sadaam’s sporting a woody. Rating: 5 @%^&$% Martinis!
SPLENDOR
I’d hire Gregg Araki (pictured) to make a music video. I’d even hire him to produce an album (Splendor’s soundtrack is indeed delish). But would I hire him to write and direct a feature? Probably not. Other than two bee-utiful boy toys (Johnathon Schaech and Matthew Keeslar) bunking up with a far too lucky chick (Kathleen Robertson) - this romantic comedy lacks the meat needed to satisfy. Rating: 2.5 Martinis
STAR WARS: THE PHANTOM MENACE
The force has a leak. Despite the world’s anticipation for this summer’s first blockbuster, just like Chinese food, George Lucas’ latest leaves you wanting something (anything) more. In other words, TPM delivers tons of special effects and great sound, but no plot or character development. Maybe worth a matinee ticket. Rating: 1.5 Martinis
STEAL THIS MOVIE
Talk about your timing. As seen outside the Democratic National Convention, our right to peacefully protest is one hot issue. Be it against war, the World Trade Organization or campaign finance reform, the need to get the message out is a vital element to our freedom. That's the topic of this film, which tells the story of sixties radical Abbie Hoffman, a member of the New Left who became an activist during the Civil Rights movement and later became a main player in the anti-Vietnam War campaign. But since it was the sixties, Hoover and the CIA had a file on everybody, and Abbie found himself living on the run for seven years, far from his view on politics and family.

My take on the movie? Despite the vitally important topic, it seemed like it ran as long as the 60s (1 hour and 51 minutes). I actually fell asleep a few times. I did perk up for the last 1/2 hour which showed how passionate Abbie (Vincent D'Onofrio) was about stopping the government's abuse of power - even as an elderly man. Janeane Garofalo plays his wife - who not only stands by her man despite his peculiar obsession to fight the powers that be, but takes up the cause as well. It's not a brilliant film, but worthy of seeing. Rating: 3.0 Martinis
STEPMOM
Even though the title may conjure up images of a knife-wielding, estrogen-induced size 5 terror, it’s really a feel good (bring lots of hankies) film for Susan Sarandon and Julia Roberts. Yes, some of the dialogue is corny and you know exactly what the film’s gonna try to do with your tear ducts – but Sarandon absolutely shines as the "threatened by the other woman" mom who has to face the fact that she may not be around forever. The rest of the movie is cute and quaint – but it’s Susan who carries most of it on her oh-so noble shoulders. Rating: 3.0 Martinis.
STIGMATA
Simply put, this is weird. Think The Exorcist meets a Nine Inch Nail video. Dark, mysterious and as threatening to the Catholic Church as an alien invasion, Stigmata possesses some polished moments of a spook flick (Patricia Arquette sports Christ’s wounds with fright), but Gabriel Byrne’s priest/investigator left something to be desired. Bottom line: Betty is now totally confused. Rating: 2.5 Martinis
STILL CRAZY
Kudos go out to whoever smoked a fatty and came up with this fun rock-n-romp. Although it's been 20 years since they broke up, the members of Strange Fruit gather up the nerve (and the Bengay) to hit the road in search of another chance. Think This is Spinal Tap meets Priscilla Queen of the Desert meets Velvet Underground. Billy Connolly's whimsical narration is a treat and Stephen Rea gets a proud moment to shine. But it's Bill Nighy - playing the aging lead vocalist, Ray Simms, who really knocks your socks off. Rating: 3.5 Martinis
STIR OF ECHOES
Lord I love Kevin Bacon. Anybody who can survive Footloose deserves our respect. And Kev’s latest venture proves to be a real jump-out-of-your-seat thriller. Well, for the first 2 acts anyway. Stir of Echoes starts off as a true shock fest with ghostly haunts (that will surely be compared to The 6th Sense). Unfortunately, it loses steam in the 3rd act. Good news is Kevin’s still hot. Rating: 3.5 Martinis
STORY OF US, THE
Ben (Bruce Willis) and Katie (Michele Pfeiffer) have the perfect life; Two well-behaved kids and gorgeous good looks. But the very things that attracted them to each other now drives them nuts. Rob Reiner directs this sweet (but at times sappy) tale of a couple wondering if it's time to call it quits. Although the lengthy monologues on the rigors of marriage got on my nerves, it's still cute. Rating: 2.5 Martinis
STUART LITTLE
I love mieces to pieces and he may be cute, gifted and hip, but this four-inch rodent (voiced by Michael J. Fox) needs a dose of some mousy-Prozac. He's Stuart, the orphan mouse adopted by the Little family (Geena Davis, Hugh Laurie, and son, Jonathon (Jerry Maguire) Lipnicki.) It's a shame all the digital effects and computer technology can't make this show-biz quipped mouse more interesting cuz it truly is amazing to watch his adventures, though tedious at times.

It's Stuart's 'can do' attitude that guides him as he learns the true meaning of family, loyalty and friendship. From his nemesis, Snowbell (voice of Nathan Lane) the cat who just wants Stuart on a cracker, to a chase through Central Park with a pack of wisecracking Top Cats, it's no wonder author E.B. White (Charlotte's Web) is so popular with the kids. Maybe if I had a few martinis with my popcorn I'd have felt a 'Little' more generous, but I can only muster a rating of - 2 digitally effected Martinis.
SUGAR TOWN
Allison Anders’ latest follows the interconnected (and oddly realistic) lives of Los Angelenos (a Courtney-Love-like aspiring singer, a lonely production designer and four aging rockers looking for a comeback). Would desperate people really sleep with someone just to green-light a project? You bet. But it’s the film’s fresh portrayal of unconventional families that make it a real sweet treat to eat. Rating: 4 Martinis
SUMMER OF SAM
Spike Lee is back with a vengence! S.O.S. is a perfect cocktail of wonderful scripting, steller performances by John Leguizamo, Mira Sorvino and Adrien Brody poured over a turbulent NYC summer in 1977 when disco was king, the Yankees won the World Series, a heat wave, a blackout and the terror of the "Son of Sam" himself, David Berkowitz. Bar some of the violence, this Spike Lee joint is riveting. Rating: 4 Martinis
SUPERSTAR
I know what you're thinking - 'oh great another SNL movie.' But wait, this puppy rocks! And so does the dee-lightful Molly Shannon in this tale about Mary Kathrine Gallagher's quest for the perfect kiss and Superstardom. Unlike those other SNL bombs, Superstar offers up a nerdy hero we all can admire dressed up in glasses and a plaid skirt. So cast your notions aside, Molly is marvelous!  Rating: 4 Martinis



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