BeatBoxBetty's Movie Reviews

Passion of Mind - Patch Adams - The Patriot - Pecker - The Perfect Storm - Permanent Midnight - Pitch Black - Playing by Heart - Play It to The Bone - Pleasantville - Plunkett & Macleane - Practical Magic - Primary Colors - The Prince of Egypt - Psycho - Pushing Tin -

PASSION OF MIND
Well it's been how many years since we've seen Demi Moore in a movie? Not enough. Once you suffer through figuring out what this split personality chick is all about (think "Sliding Doors" on Valium)...you don't give a rat's emotional ass what happens to her - or why. The Dem-miester plays Marie and Marty, two women as opposite as night and day. Is she really Marie - the widowed mother of two? Or is she Marty - the glamorous New York career woman who longs for wine and cheese in the South of France? Who cares? The slow as molasses build-up to the actual dilemma of this dame was so long, I fell asleep - twice! Me thinks somebody's been spending too much time in psychotherapy. Rating: 1.0 Martini

PATCH ADAMS
Although Robin Williams does a fine job playing the real life doctor who uses a clown’s nose and whoopee cushion for bedside manner, the movie falls short of going beyond sentimental sweet. He’s the medical school rebel who tests the patience of the establishment while helping patients laugh their way to health. When his graduation is jeopardized, an inspirational speech ensues. Been there – done that. That said, Williams is still enjoyable as ever to watch and you can’t help but cheer for the lovable lug. Rating: 2.5 Martinis

THE PATRIOT
Now, let's get this straight. I'm no big Mel Gibson fan. And I held a mountain of doubt going into this thing that it might turn out to be some corny tale about the Revolutionary War. But I gotta admit, I was pleasantly surprised. Yes, it's a tad long and there's several vividly violent scenes, but in all honesty, The Patriot kept me entertained and glued to my seat.

Mel plays Benjamin Martin, a loving father and reluctant hero who's forced into battle when the American Revolution reaches his doorstep. He's also forced to reach into a deep and dark place (with a handy hatchet) that he's trying desperately to forget. But when his son (Heath Ledger) is caught up in the heroism of the day, a tender, yet pushed to his limits Mel jumps into action. Shot on an epic scale, The Patriot is more than a good popcorn flick - it's brave and bold and big and it might even spark a firework or two of your patriotism. Well, at least until the movie's over and you have to fight your way out of the parking lot. Rating: 4.0 Martinis -
Don't miss Betty's Interview with Heath Ledger!

PECKER
Edward Furlong and Christina Ricci star in this oddball John Waters comedy about a local yokel shutterbug who becomes the toast of the art world. Despite having a clever title and some hilarious scenes (like the sugar-sucking sister) most of Pecker falls apart. You just can’t help but wince at Ricci’s flat character and Furlong’s changing voice. In fact, he sounds so much like Peter Brady when he was going through "the change," you expect Florence Henderson to do a cameo. Rating: 2.5 Martinis

THE PERFECT STORM
Maybe they should've called this water-logged flick The Not-So Perfect Storm. Yeah, there's oodles of special effects where CGI waves 100 feet tall toss around the headstrong group of fisherman like my cat tortures my socks, but is it the blockbuster you'd think it's suppose to be? Those of us that remember "The Poseidon Adventure" might get a tingle or two, but beyond the monstrous sea, all the George Clooneys and Mark Wahlbergs in the world couldn't make this sinker swim.

Playing out like the pre-boarding scene in "Armageddon", the six-man crew (led by Captain Clooney) say good-bye to the womenfolk as they set off on the Andrea Gail, a commercial fishing boat that's full steam ahead to meet its salty demise. For some, the excitement of an oncoming disaster might be entertaining, but I found many of the scenes way over done and the script full of corny diatribes about the beauty of yanking fish out of the water, pulling their guts out and packing the little gems in ice. Yipee. Rating: 2.0 Martinis

PERMANENT MIDNIGHT
Talk about your great timing. After a hugely successful run with There’s Something About Mary, Ben Stiller returns to the screen in this ultra dark roast comedy with curvaceous co-stars Elizabeth Hurley and Maria Bello. Stiller plays Jerry Stahl, a writer who’s talented as all heck but burdened with a ferocious appetite for heroin. Some scenes (like when he shoots up in the neck) may make you uneasy, but Ben’s performance is so powerful you’ll forgive the graphic nature of it all. Rating: 4 Martinis

PITCH BLACK
Not only does Vin Diesel look good in a tight black tank, but this high action sci-fi flick also delivers the goods - most of the time. Yeah, there's cornball moments (why these people who crashed into a strange planet insist on separating from the pack is beyond me). But there's also some wild scenes that include a pack of aliens tearing apart some unwanted visitors and a scary ass spaceship crash that's worth the ticket alone. Vin plays a bufffed-out-goggle-wearing prisoner who's riding shotgun with a purdy pilot (Radha Mitchell) and her motley crew. After crashing on a planet that's inhabited by creatures resembling a hammer head shark , the team tries to stay alive -in the dark. Buckle up kids, Pitch Black is a bumpy - and fun ride. Rating: 3.5 Martinis

PLAYING BY HEART
Every now and then a film comes around that is not only inventive in its unfolding, but also touching in its intent. Playing by Heart is such a film. And it’s definitely a writer’s movie. An ensemble cast to die for; Gena Rowlands, Sean Connery, Angelina Jolie, Gillian Anderson, Dennis Quaid, Ellen Burstyn and Madeline Stowe just soak up the screen. Without giving everything away, it’s about people, people’s problems and people’s attraction for people and problems. Ah, c’est la vie! Rating: 3.5 Martinis for its refreshing maturity and delicate touch of class.

PLAY IT TO THE BONE
I rarely walk out of films. But for this horrid road-trip-buddy-movie, Betty bolted for the door after squirming through an unbearable hour of watching Antonio Banderas and Woody Harrelson argue like a miserable married couple. The two play welterweight boxers who get a final shot at a big time boxing match. With only a few hours to get to Vegas, they take an dumb ass road trip through the desert with their nails-on-chalkboard girlfriend (Lolita Davidovich). Why they drive all the way to Vegas for the most important fight of their life instead of forking out 50 lousy bucks for a plane ticket is beyond me. This is only the first boo-boo in this sad little ditty. Rating: 1.0 Martini

PLEASANTVILLE
This charming tale that has two modern day siblings remote controlling themselves into a virtual Leave It To Beaver world is quite simply, pleasant. But so is my grandma’s cooking. It does manage, however, to bloom with special effects, give Joan Allen her finest performance yet and even compares racism with a Technicolor splendor. But alas, the pleasant Pleasantville left me hungry for some more. Kinda like Grandma’s chipped beef on toast! Rating: 3.0 Martini

PLUNKETT & MACLEANE
What a weird movie. With a title that sounds more like a Turner & Hootch sequel, this odd bird’s set in the mid-18th Century around two notorious (and hunky) highwaymen who decide to take from the rich and give to themselves. Liv Tyler pumps up the interest quotient when she appears as the love interest, but the dreary dark tones and overdrawn length of it all, makes P & M a matinee. Rating: 2.5 Martinis

PRACTICAL MAGIC
Will someone pa-lease tell Sandra Bullock’s "people" to actually read the script. Even though Ms. Bullock is simply adorable in those slinky camisoles, Practical Magic fails to pull the rabbit out of the hat. And Nicole Kidman is, well...Nicole Kidman playing her slightly darker sibling. Best thing this flick offered was slightly incestuous touch between the two leading ladies. Add to that an under-used Stockard Channing and Dianne Wieste and you get an overall rating of 1.5 Martinis

PRIMARY COLORS
I laughed. I cried. I felt his pain. This hilarious look at Bill Clinton’s 1992 Presidential campaign actually plays better than his real-life bodacious boo-boos. John Travolta plays Jack Stanton - a philandering but empathetic politician who manages to get out of any sticky situation. Emma Thompson plays his earnest wife Susan (a.k.a. Hillary) who looks the other way when her hubby’s pants drop to the floor. It’s the presidency she wants damn it, and she’s gonna get it no matter what (or who) he does. Both are backed up be superb thespians Adrian Lester, Billy Bob Thornton and Kathy Bates in a role she was made for -that of the Stranton’s top dust busting aide. There’s plenty of apple fritters, BBQ ribs and sex scandals to please, along with an award-winning imitation by Travolta of the man who seems to always be in the hot seat. Rating: 3.5 Martinis

PRINCE OF EGYPT, THE
I swear, the animation’s amazing in this film. Val Kilmer holds his own as the voice of Moses – the music’s not bad for a biblical score and the parting of the Red Sea couldn’t have been done better than if it was done by the man upstairs. Okay, so he’s got one up on Dream-Works’ – but you know what I mean. Only problem was Sandra Bullock as the voice of Moses’ sister Miriam. Nails on a blackboard sound betta! But see the movie anyway...it’s way worth the ticket. Rating: 3.5 Martinis.

PSYCHO
As William H. Macy recently said, "When Gus Van Sant asks you to be in a movie, you just do it." And do it they have. This homage to Alfred Hitchcock’s 1960 thriller is scene for scene and shot for shot on target. The audience jumps when they’re suppose to jump and screams when they’re suppose to scream. The only vital thing missing is Hitchcock himself, whose cinematic signature made a creepy movie a classic. This Psycho has all the proper ingredients, but just can’t cook it the same way "mother" does. Rating: 3.0 Martinis.

PUSHING TIN
A movie that’s based on the pressures two hotshot air traffic controllers must endure may not sound like it’s worth eight bucks for. But then again, this fast flying film stars Billy Bob Thornton and John "When Will He Get His Due" Cusack. Add to that another mesmerizing performance by Angelina Jolie (as Billy’s wickedly-built wife) and Cate Blanchette as John‘s foundation. There are cornball moments, but it’s still worth a flight. After seeing it, you’ll never fly the friendly skies the same! Rating: 4.0 Martinis

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